Morning Fog

More Words

on January 30, 2011

Well, my mother is still dead, so no developments on that front. I don’t expect any soon. In related news, my dad announced that he has decided that he too might as well die one day, so he is springing for the double crypt and pre-engraved memorial with his name on it as well. I guess it is okay to talk about those things now that one of them has actually bitten the dust. passed over.

Astute readers chose the exact format we are using for the funeral/burial. The rosary/vigil/viewing and funeral mass will all be on Thursday night, with a reception afterwards. The burial entombment, will be on Friday morning.

Dad opted for a mausoleum as opposed to plots of ground. I like that idea. Watching my father-in-law’s body lowered into the ground after he died was absolutely the most heartbreaking thing I have ever witnessed, and so I have to admit that seeing my mother placed into a marble cubicle (that’s how I imagine it anyway) has got to be better. Less final. Less like she is being sent to another world and more like she’s just playing hide and seek with a really great spot on the top shelf of a cabinet.
And I say top shelf because apparently the mausoleum spots are 7 high which has got to mean the top one is about 20 feet up. And guess which one is the cheapest? (And by cheap, I mean “don’t die in LA if you want an affordable afterlife, but if you must, eye level is prime real estate and way up on top may be closer to heaven, but it is also lighter on the pocketbook.) So yeah, it looks like dad is going for the top row. It’s cheaper but really, it’s just a spot for, you know, decomposition to occur. And for loved ones to stop off and think of you. Although, being 20 feet up in the air loses some of that romantic imagery…it might be a little hard to just sit around and lay bunches of flowers by the headstone. But whatever.
I hope this isn’t too morbid for you. I feel like a new mother who thinks nothing of discussing poop and vomit with everyone because That Is Her Life.
Right now, death is mine. And for this moment that seems really normal.

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8 responses to “More Words

  1. Yankee Chick says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Lost my Mom 7 years ago and not a day goes by that I don’t miss her, need her and/or want her. It takes a long time to get past it and some of it, you never will. Not very encouraging I know, but eventually the things you think about now that make you sad, will be good memories one day.

    I’m so glad to see you blogging again! I just spotted you over at K-Lo’s and had to come and see you. I’ll be thinking good thoughts for you and hope you are feeling better about things soon.

  2. I lost my mom about 2 years ago. I actually found her dead, in her house. She had been there about 2 days. She didn’t want to be buried, she wanted her ashes either placed in the garden or out to sea. Needless to say, she is in my office, still. I hesitate leaving her in the garden as if I move she won’t be able to come along. And the out to sea thing seems kind of the same. I am sorry for your loss. I hope you can get some closure.

    • Lisele says:

      I think closure will come. I am so sorry to hear about the way you found your mom…I like the out to sea idea, but I can tell you aren’t ready to let go.

  3. bluesleepy says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I have no idea how hard this must be for you, even if you did expect it. Sending lots of love and hugs your way.

  4. Christina says:

    My friend Jacqueline who passed exactly a year ago as well was cremated but her ashes were placed in a marble cubicle in Palm Springs right next to her mom’s ashes. Her mom had passed away in late 2008 and her dad had the ashes in his house the whole time. Anyhow – it is a somewhat nicer thought to know she is placed there vs in the ground. It’s really a very beautiful spot.

    • Lisele says:

      I agree. I saw some beautiful glass-front cubicles for ashes that all sorts of lovely arrangements inside with the ashes…photos, knicknacks, etc. I really liked that idea.

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