Morning Fog

Beam me up

on January 23, 2008

I am tempted to post this entry as blank space.
That is the only way to truly capture my emotions at this time.

.
.
.
.
But not too interesting, I guess.

I had such a long day today. I stayed at school until 6:30, mostly getting ready for a substitute teacher. I am off to a conference tomorrow on Teaching Gifted and Talented students.
The problem is that, by the time you get everything spelled out, laid out, and worked out for the sub, it feels like you just taught the whole day yourself. So I now feel like I just taught two days today instead of just the usual one day.

I got another super duper email from another parent today, on a whole ‘nother matter. They are so cute these parents. And so easy to manipulate. All you have to do is sacrifice your entire life for the welfare of their offspring. That’s all.
NOT that I don’t appreciate their appreciation. I totally do. I don’t know how to do anything half-way. I was born an over-achiever, and while I DO NOT feel as if I am over-achieving in this job, I can hold my head up high and say that yes, I am doing my best. Yes, I can do no more than I already am. And it is fine to have that effort acknowledged now and then, even if that isn’t at all the reason I do it. The praise is actually a good thing, because it lets me put the brakes on a bit. I go and go and go and go…worried that I am dropping some ball somewhere. Knowing that people out there think I’m doing ok lets me breathe a little and say, ok, maybe I should relax a little. Because you know what I found out? There is NO end to this job. You never do it all. You never do enough. You never get to a point where you put the whole thing to bed. It ends in June when the school year ends, and before that, well, it is just cram, cram, cram I’ll sleep later, thankyouverymuch.

The biggest reward comes from seeing the kids succeed and grow. That makes first grade magical, actually. Seeing kids learn to read right before your very eyes is so cool. You want to beam and say, “I made that.” Or something similar. Something more appropriate and professional. Really.

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4 responses to “Beam me up

  1. yankeechick says:

    I would never doubt that you are anything but a super awesome teacher!!

  2. Diane says:

    You should be very proud of yourself if you can say those things about yourself. No wonder they love you!

  3. l'empress says:

    Talented and gifted students — I know of such things. Fifty-two years ago I was thought to be one, and it turned out to be one of the least productive of my twelve (plus kindergarten) years of public school.

    I was also parent to three such students. Two benefited mightily from the experience; the third has other issues, such that she wasn’t going to benefit from anything they offered at that time. (Not stupid, just crazy, if you know what I mean.)

    My son, on the other hand — when he got married, he named two best men. They were the boys he rode with on the bus to Talented and Gifted, middle school level. Best friends for twenty years. When it works, it really works.

  4. Blue Opal says:

    Parental involvement is all well and good, but there IS such a thing as too much of a good thing…

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