Morning Fog

Happy Happy

on January 4, 2008

Time to come clean.
I was in denial for awhile, but am slowly coming around.

A very observant reader (who thought she was missing something, but really wasn’t) wondered when Sprite (darling daughter) got married?

I never, except for twice briefly and very recently, mentioned this. I certainly never announced, elaborated or even discussed it. I was secretly hoping she would have one of those “I could have had a V-8” moments and, oh, gotten it annulled or something.

So here is a little background.

Y’all might remember that she met, and fell into heavy dating immediately, a strapping young Cowboy/Marine about a year and a half ago. July ’06, to be exact. By early December they were engaged, despite our protestations for millions of reasons, with a teensy diamond on her finger and a fiance who was facing a year-long deployment to parts unknown, including the possibility of going back to Iraq.

There was no talking to her, she did not see the sense in waiting until he came back to get engaged, and did not agree that waiting until she graduated from college to get married was a smart move. But with such a long separation facing them, I figured the odds were good that they would drift apart in some way. She is quite the social butterfly and thought she’d fall for some other guy, frankly, ring on her finger or not.

Then he came home for a month-long leave August 1st. He had been gone for 7 months. She drove up to LA to pick him up, and they were going to go to Disneyland. I think I wrote that, actually, at the time. Instead, they drove to Las Vegas and got married. They did not tell us though.

Here is the thing, though. The second day they were back, I found the marriage certificate. So I knew, but they hadn’t told us. Quandry ensued. Mostly because I knew he was going away again for another 4 months and Mr. Wonderful would hit the roof if he found out. Would he kick her out? Would he not pay her tuition? I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t say anything. Secretly I was happy that they weren’t just sleeping together, which makes me feel WAAAAAYYYYY too much my mother, but there it is. I said nothing. Not even here, which was weird, but there was the whole denial thing in my brain, coupled with not telling my husband so I just wanted to ignore it.

At the end of the month, right before they were leaving for LA (she was dropping him off at the airport and coming back), as we were saying our good-byes, he told us. I felt very proud that he obviously didn’t want to leave without us knowing, and sensed that she didn’t know how to tell us. So it was out. Mr. Wonderful was so shocked that he didn’t even notice that I wasn’t.

It was weird the last few months, but we just hung in there. She stayed at home and kept working and going to school, and right before he came back for Christmas, she found them an apartment. We are starting to come to grips with this now that he is back. The fact that they almost died together on an icy road in Montana certainly puts “marriage” in perspective, since it probably won’t kill them.

I have to say that she is very happy. He is very happy. The ironic thing is that through the last year and a half since they met, they have been married for 5 and have yet to be alone! Except for a night or two. They have been with family here or there, and as soon as they got into their apartment, his brother (along with his wife and baby) are moving in with them for 2 weeks until HE gets sent back to Iraq. For the 4th time, I might add. So then they will finally be alone. Unless somebody else drops in! I hope they still love each other when it is just the two of them.

Anyway, that is the story. My daughter is married. She is turning 20 on Tuesday, and I certainly never expected her to be married this young, but maybe it is the right thing for her. She is staying in school, and as long as they don’t have any babies for awhile to further complicate their lives, maybe they will do okay.

I got this from Diane.
It makes me wonder where any of my rants and cynicism come from really. I should just be humming and smiling, shouldn’t I?
I will redo this after I’ve been back in school for a couple of weeks and see how it looks.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life: 9.4
Mind: 9.1
Body: 8.2
Spirit: 10
Friends/Family: 7.2
Love: 9.1
Finance: 9.4
Take the Rate My Life Quiz
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8 responses to “Happy Happy

  1. Rosietoes says:

    OK, so there I was in the library, desperately trying to read everyone’s diary, and I read that casual little bit about Sprite getting married. Now, I thought I had caught up with everyone when I had internet woes last summer, so I told Josh that I would have to go back and re-read your diary, because obviously I had missed something BIG!I am grateful to know that it wasn’t me. That I didn’t miss something THAT important.

    Yes, 20 is young. But I remember 20, and I almost got hitched to Puppyfeet, and I thought I was getting old!

    They will have to live their lives, make their mistakes, and experience the highs and lows of marriage. And all you can do is watch and offer advice when asked for. Hugs to you!

  2. clairec23 says:

    I really hope that things work out for you and your family. It must be wierd, getting over the shock of it, in a way hoping it was a mistake and yet trying to be supportive and happy for them. I’m nearly 25, I have two children with my partner, my mother loves him but she would be devastated if I got married. I think she’s been afraid of me getting engaged since I was a teenager 🙂

    It will be hard for them to be alone together but if they are prepared to work really hard on their relationship they should be able to sort through it. I don’t know how people cope with their partner being away for so long, when my daughter was two months old, my partner had to go away for a business meeting overnight to England and I was devastated! I’d be a rubbish military wife but your daughter will be busy with school so maybe it will work out better than they imagined.

  3. bluesleepy says:

    I had noticed the other time you had mentioned something, but since you didn’t elaborate, I figured you didn’t want to talk about it!!

    Maybe it’ll all work out. But from one military wife to another, it is a HARD life. Doubly hard because not only is your husband deploying all over everywhere, but because now you’re moving all over the country too (though I don’t know if the Marines move as often as the Navy does). What’s going to be the roughest adjustment of all to her is learning to live with him each time he comes home again. It is really a shock to the system.

    Good luck to her, and to her Marine. I’ll be praying for y’all!!

  4. twisterjester says:

    It’s not the age nor even the maturity. It’s the character. I hope both kids prove stronger than your expectations and that they both prove your worries wrong 🙂

  5. kitchenlogic says:

    Oh my god. Kids. They just rip our hearts out, don’t they? Here’s hoping that the Sprite’s marriage goes as well as that of my niece, who’s married to a wonderful man and has two children and a wonderful home after marrying at the ripe old age of 20. It can all be good.

    Now if only my 18 year old would grow the hell up!

  6. Mary says:

    Thank you. Because when I saw that, I thought I’d missed something really huge. I was on vacation in August, but thought I’d caught up with everybody. I feel better now. And it’s all about me. Heh.

    I hope things work out well for them. 19 is very young, but sometimes it works out really well. My sister-in-law married my brother at 19, and three kids and ten years later they’re still going strong. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for them.

  7. LA says:

    Okay, I wasn’t nuts. Thanks.

    If it helps at all, I married Mike at 19. If he had been a decent guy and not the awful fool that he is we’d still be married. I stuck it out for 25 years in a lousy situation, if Sprite and her guy are good to each other it can work out. They have strong family support and despite the impetuous rush to the altar they both sound like bright young people with a huge love for each other. Young, yes. Foolish, maybe not.

    And you’re right, it is a positive they wanted to sanctify and officially declare their love for each other instead of just shacking up. Means they both see the value and strength of a committed relationship. Not bad, especially considering most youngins these days can’t deal with a 6 month phone contract. ~LA

  8. summergale says:

    Holy Mackeral! You should be doing happy feet impressions! ~Diane

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